{"id":878,"date":"2017-06-21T15:57:43","date_gmt":"2017-06-21T13:57:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/czasbeztroski.pl\/?p=878"},"modified":"2017-06-21T15:57:43","modified_gmt":"2017-06-21T13:57:43","slug":"porownywanie-dzieci-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/katarek.pl\/porownywanie-dzieci-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Por\u00f3wnywanie dzieci. Nigdy nie powinna\u015b tego robi\u0107"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Je\u015bli chcesz wychowa\u0107 pewnego siebie cz\u0142owieka, zale\u017cy ci na tym, by rodze\u0144stwo si\u0119 kocha\u0142o i wspiera\u0142o \u2013 nie por\u00f3wnuj dzieci do siebie.<\/strong> <!--more--><\/p>\n<p>\u201eSp\u00f3jrz na Stasia, on ju\u017c policzy\u0142\u201d, \u201eNie mog\u0142aby\u015b pisa\u0107 wyra\u017aniej? Patrz jak \u0142adnie to zrobi\u0142a Ola\u201d, \u201eTw\u00f3j brat jak by\u0142 w twoim wieku, to ju\u017c umia\u0142 pisa\u0107\u201d \u2013 por\u00f3wnywanie dzieci do siebie jest nieskuteczne i bardzo gro\u017ane. Wcale nie motywuje do dzia\u0142ania, a \u201edoskonale\u201d obni\u017ca samoocen\u0119 (bo zawsze znajdzie si\u0119 kto\u015b lepszy) i podsyca rywalizacj\u0119 mi\u0119dzy rodze\u0144stwem. Co robi\u0107, gdy por\u00f3wnania cisn\u0105 si\u0119 nam na usta?<\/p>\n<h2>Dlaczego nie por\u00f3wnywa\u0107 dzieci?<\/h2>\n<p>Po pierwsze wczuj si\u0119 w rol\u0119 por\u00f3wnywanego dziecka: jak ty by\u015b zareagowa\u0142a, gdyby kto\u015b powiedzia\u0142 ci: \u201eSp\u00f3jrz na Ka\u015bk\u0119, ta to ma talent. Nie mog\u0142aby\u015b pracowa\u0107 tak jak ona?\u201d albo \u201eDlaczego wzi\u0119\u0142a\u015b si\u0119 za prasowanie w ostatniej chwili? Twoja siostra robi to na bie\u017c\u0105co i ma spok\u00f3j\u201d. Nieprzyjemne prawda? Dzieci stawiane w takiej sytuacji cz\u0119sto nie\u015bwiadomie zaczynaj\u0105 dzia\u0142a\u0107 zgodnie z zasad\u0105 \u201eskoro nie mog\u0119 by\u0107 najlepszy, to b\u0119d\u0105 najlepszy z najgorszych\u201d albo si\u0119 poddaj\u0105.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Lepiej unika\u0107 por\u00f3wna\u0107, kt\u00f3re stawiaj\u0105 jedno dziecko w niekorzystnym \u015bwietle. Zamiast m\u00f3wi\u0107: \u201eJeste\u015b fajt\u0142ap\u0105. Twoja m\u0142odsza siostra tak nie rozlewa jak ty\u201d, skuteczniej b\u0119dzie je\u015bli opiszesz co widzisz: \u201eWyla\u0142e\u015b sok, trzeba to zetrze\u0107\u201d. Ale por\u00f3wnywanie, kt\u00f3re wyr\u00f3\u017cnia jedno z dzieci te\u017c mo\u017ce przysporzy\u0107 k\u0142opot\u00f3w. Na przyk\u0142ad powiedzenie: \u201eNie zostawiaj po sobie ba\u0142aganu jak twoja m\u0142odsza siostra. Jeste\u015b ju\u017c du\u017cy\u201d mo\u017ce w dziecku wzbudzi\u0107 ch\u0119\u0107 pogn\u0119bienia rodze\u0144stwa. Zn\u00f3w \u2013 lepiej opisa\u0107 co si\u0119 widzi: \u201eZabra\u0142e\u015b po kolacji naczynia do zlewu. Brawo!\u201d.<\/p>\n<p><strong>A zatem,\u00a0 zamiast por\u00f3wnywa\u0107 mo\u017cesz powiedzie\u0107 dziecku co ci si\u0119 nie podoba w jego post\u0119powaniu lub zachowaniu. Opisuj to co widzisz (np. \u201eNowy tablet le\u017cy na pod\u0142odze i kto\u015b mo\u017ce na niego nadepn\u0105\u0107\u201d), co czujesz (np. \u201eObra\u017canie innych mnie smuci\/ denerwuje\/ martwi\u201d). Dodaj do tego opisu wskaz\u00f3wk\u0119, co nale\u017cy zrobi\u0107 (np. \u201eMiejsce tabletu jest na biurku\u201d, \u201eWyra\u017a swoj\u0105 z\u0142o\u015b\u0107 zapisuj\u0105c wszystko na kartce, mo\u017cesz j\u0105 nawet zniszczy\u0107\u201d)<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Autorka:<\/p>\n<p>Maria Gaj \u2013 psycholog w trakcie szkolenia terapeutycznego w nurcie poznawczo \u2013 behawioralnym<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":"Je\u015bli chcesz wychowa\u0107 pewnego siebie cz\u0142owieka, zale\u017cy ci na tym, by rodze\u0144stwo si\u0119 kocha\u0142o i wspiera\u0142o \u2013 nie por\u00f3wnuj dzieci do siebie.","author":7,"featured_media":2964,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"editor_plus_copied_stylings":"{}","footnotes":""},"categories":[31,39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-878","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mama","category-psychologia"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Por\u00f3wnywanie dzieci. Nigdy nie powinna\u015b tego robi\u0107 - katarek.pl<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/katarek.pl\/porownywanie-dzieci-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pl_PL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Por\u00f3wnywanie dzieci. 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